A redgirl is listening for the patter of tiny paws!!

Senior redgirl here. Answering to Fattie Hattie at the moment. Yes. I am CERTAIN that my babies will be here soon. Very soon. Probably tonight. I am frantically reorganising the nursery. Unlike my stick insect housemate I have always been rather proud of my womanly curves but now .. well .. I am blooming! Laydee boobs at the ready !! I do hope that I have some girl babies .. I am dreaming of pink accessories - collars and bedding obviously but I've looked in the catalogues and have my eye on some really dinky fleeces too.

I heard mum on the phone twittering on about a "phantom pregnancy" ?? anyone heard of ?? Anyway forget her. MY hormones know for sure what is going on. Hmmm. I do have to say that I cannot precisely recall (shy cough) a "wedding ceremony" but I guess that could easily be the kind of thing that a busy working girl would most likely forget about ?

Anyway back to sorting out my birthing arrangements.

Misery

We are sooo unhappy.

Our hero. Radio. Is going out with another woman.

Yesterday. Doberlady (a black/tan BITCH?)

Radio went to Knightsbridge. To Harvey Nichols. A stones throw from Harrods.

And sent us the pictures.

Too cruel.

This Vizsla Redgirl wants to be a zero dress size

Yes. Younger redgirl Berta here (do HATE that blokey name. WHY did she not call me fifi or mitzi or paris or something else girlie). Anyway I have ALWAYS been health conscious. Obviously I don't do the "diet" word (too much bad press). But I HATE fat. So. I am quite a "selective" about food. NO CARBS!! And as little otherwise as I can get away with. Well. BC (before crufts) she got so uptight about what she calls my "toast rack" look that she pulled out all the stops. Whole chickens. Lamb. Stuff in the freezer that had been there for a while. Pheasant. Salmon. Pork pies. Sausages. Sometimes I capitulated. (But I always spotted and rejected the sneaky carbs like rice or pasta or even potatoes .. yuk) And despite myself I put on a pound or two.

Now. Why I am here. Is there a forum for abused vizslas? I can hardly bear to talk about it.

For the past couple of days she has slapped down odious things (eg tripe ???!!) and said (wait for it) "like it or lump it" Well of course I just shan't eat. And soon I will be a tiny zero dress size.

Redgirls need time to think

Here we are. Back in Scotland. Crufts a week ago.
Feeling pensive.

Town / Country ?? Town / Country ??

A life changing moment. Well. Do YOU see any shops ??

Taking bearings on nearest Harvey Nicks. Edinburgh?? Leeds ??